


Yes, Always

by orphan_account



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Child Abuse, Coming Out, Crushes, Fluff, Implied abuse, M/M, Middle School, Well depends on what u define as fluff honestly lol, idk ill add more tags as more stuff happens, neil and max are awkward and its cute, well more like accidentally
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-10-22
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:28:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: It's the end of the summer so the kids have to go home, and Neil knows he'll miss everyone.Especially him.Cue a bunch of texting and anxiety.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> im bad at summaries. and writing so theres that too.

Today was the day. Today, all of them were going to get picked up by their parents and go back home. While Neil at first was super happy to get away from this hellhole, when the first kid started to leave, he realized how much he didn't want to go. The first to go was Harrison, who waved at everyone with a smile before he got into the car to leave. Once the car window went up, his smile faltered and he looked out at the rest of the campers solemnly as they waved their goodbyes. 

As he drove away, a new feeling of emptiness fell among the camp, though no one mentioned it. Most of the other kids didn't really have the motivation to talk to each other now that he was gone.

Max and Nikki were standing next to Neil the whole time near the road Harrison just left on. "I know I barely talk to him compared to you guys, but I miss him." Nikki spoke softly. "Who do you think is going to get picked up next?"  
"I hope it's you, so I don't have to fucking listen to you whine about everyone leaving." Max answered. Despite the obvious rude remark, Nikki smiled at him. "Aw, Max, I'll miss you too!" The next second, Max was in a bear hug. Although he rolled his eyes at her and didn't hug back, he didn't push her away. They stood like that for a while until they saw a white car pull up to the camp. 

"Who's parents are that?" Nikki eyed the car carefully, looking over at Max and Neil curiously. 

"Mine." Neil answered simply. He ignored the looks on his friend's faces, and went to step forward until he felt a hand grip his shoulder. Expecting it to be Nikki, he turned around with a soft grin, but it was actually Max. "So your just going to go and not say bye to the only friends you have here? Kind of shitty if you ask me." Max told him. The grin on Neil's face grew, through it was still gentle. He closed his eyes for a moment as he heard the door to the car open in the distance, and the ever so vibrant David eager to greet his parents. So, this was it...until next summer, at least. Neil wasn't exactly planning to just go without saying goodbye, but the thing is, he didn't want too. If he could, he would stay here forever with them. Sure, Max was a pessimistic asshole, and Nikki was stupid and naive, but they were one of the only few people that accepted him, as at his home school, he was bullied alot. They'd tease him, but it'd be in good fun, never with bad intent.

But Max, how'd he miss him. That boy made going to this godforsaken camp worth it all. He's 100% sure that if Max wasn't there, Neil probably would've drowned himself or did SOMETHING to take himself away from this nightmare by this point. They both got along with the common fact that they both hated this camp with every fiber of their being, and that very fact brought them together. Come to think of it...maybe the camp wasn't such a bad experience after all.

The shorter boy was expecting a goodbye, but instead, Neil cupped Max's face with his hands, and kissed him on the cheek. Max didn't move. He didn't say anything, but his expression went from angry to shocked, and it stayed there. "I'll miss you, Neil!" Nikki cried, and Neil hugged her tightly, telling her how they'll be able to be together again next summer, and soon he was off.

Max looked on as Neil got hugged by his parents and David, Gwen just looking on with a smile. After a few more minutes of them talking, Neil finally got into the car, and the first person Neil looked at when he looked out the car window before they sped off was him. 

He remembers the night when he cried and woke Max up from his sleep, and instead of yelling at him to shut up, he went to his bed and they slept together till morning. Whenever his nightmares would come back, Max would wake up and talk to him to make him feel less scared. Other times, he'd just get up from his bed half asleep, fall into Neil's, and pull the taller boy close to him without saying a word. When he told him he had night terrors about the bullies at his school, Max didn't tease him, he just told him they were assholes and that he'd beat them up if he had too. And, for the first time, Neil felt like someone cared about him, someone who would actually pay attention to how he felt and his problems. His parents, while he loved them more than anything, whenever he talked to them about his problems, they just dusted him off and said he'll be fine, when really, it just made them worse. He didn't know if they'd ever understand, but Max, he understood him. He understood every part of him. 

"Neil, are you alright?" His mother piped up from the front. Neil didn't respond. He couldn't. His throat hurt like hell.


	2. Stuff Happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um. They all go home. That's pretty much it. Besides Max contemplating his existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I totally didn't write this whole story beforehand! Welp, here's another chapter! Hope you enjoy it!

By the time he got back home, it was raining. It was raining so hard that Neil couldn't differentiate his own tears from the water hitting his face as he got out of the car. His eyes were still puffy, but by this point he had stopped crying. His mother told him that he could go straight to his bedroom and they'd take care of the luggage, and so he did without hesitation.

It felt amazing being back in his house again, the all familiar smell and the numerous science-themed posters scattered about his room almost brought on a sense of nostalgia as he looked at his bed. It was made perfectly, exactly as he set it before he left. It'd be hard getting used to sleeping in an actual bed and not on a cot for the first time in 3 months, but that was one of the things Neil did not miss. Not wanting to think about anything anymore, he climbed into bed and tossed the covers over him, and soon, the only sound he could hear was the pattering of rain against his window.

\---

Max's house was filled with a tension Max forgot was there before he left, and suddenly he wanted nothing more than to be back at the camp with Neil. ...And Nikki. Her too. "Go take your luggage to your room," His mother spoke to him gently. "Your father will be home soon."

Max only half listened to his mother's requests, as that moment earlier with Neil was still replaying in his head hours after. Why did he do that? Why? Why? He needed answers, and he needed them now. Neil gave him his phone number so they could keep in touch, along with Nikki, but knowing Neil, he was most likely at home sleeping at this point. Right now, he also just wanted to sleep, and avoid fearing the inevitable of his father coming home.

As he opened the door to his bedroom, he wasn't shocked to find that nothing was touched. His bed was in the exact messy shape it was when he left, and there were mountains of clutter on the floor that he never bothered to clean up. He didn't care enough to worry about it too much, and he put down his luggage beside him before closing the door. In a way, he missed his old bedroom, but he definitely didn't miss being here. Well, it was either here, or Camp Camp, and he didn't know which one was worse.

He had a good feeling it was probably here.

Max sat on his bed, taking off his jacket and his jeans, too lazy to change into his pajamas. Once he laid down, he couldn't stop thinking about the campers. He was the last to leave, and when Nikki had to go, she gave him the most longest hug before she left with her parents. After Nikki, Preston left. Then Nerris. Then Space Kid. Then Nurf. Then Ered.

Eventually, he was the only one that haven't went home yet. He had the pleasure of having David wait beside him, as Gwen had already left. The sky has turned orange and the sun was starting to set in the horizon. David talked. Alot. Max didn't listen to most of it. Then, his car pulled up, David hugged him to absolute oblivion, he had the longest fucking talk with his mother, and they finally left. He swore David was crying when he looked out the car window. If he didn't have a reputation to keep, he'd be crying too. The ride home wasn't anything spectacular. His mother asked him a lot of questions, which he answered honestly, some of the answers leaving her quite concerned. Then, Max laid down and slept. Then they were home. At least, what's what he remembered. 

The most vivid thing he remembered though was holding the spot on his cheek where Neil kissed him, never moving his hand from that very place the whole ride home.

It...it was just a normal goodbye, right? Max, what guys fucking kiss eachother when they are about to not see eachother for a long time? If it was a platonic kiss, he would've kissed Nikki on the cheek too, but he didn't. And the kiss wasn't short, either. It felt like ages, centuries, millenniums, galactic years, cosmological decades, it felt like an eternity, and the whole time, Max felt a fire light up somewhere inside of him, it hurt at first, but then it felt amazing, and...

God, he was so fucking gay. 

\---  
...

..

.

The ride home was long. 

As soon as Nikki walked into her house, she felt sick and tired immediately. God, how could people stay inside all day and just be fine? She can't last a minute inside of a city building without feeling like she was dying. She didn't tell her parents, although they could tell she didn't feel well, and they quickly gestured her towards her bedroom and carried her luggage for her. 

When Nikki went into her room, she lit up at the sight. Her parents placed plants on top of her dresser, and seeing that made her feel better immediately. Maybe they finally had a change of heart, or finally agreed to the fact that Nikki would literally die if she wasn't near nature for more than two seconds.

As her parents helped her set her things down, memories of Camp Camp slipped through her mind, first of David and Gwen, her closest friends, then of everyone leaving, and Neil kissing Max on the cheek before he hugged Nikki and left, and then having to wave goodbye to Max while crying, and...wait...Neil kissed Max. On the cheek.

Why was she noticing that just now?

\---

Once Neil FINALLY got his phone again, it was late at night, and the first thing he did was add Max and Nikki as his contacts. His mother didn't really hand it to him, it was just on the side of his bed when he woke up, most likely because she didn't want to disturb his rest. He considered calling Max, but realized it was 2 AM and he'd most likely get cussed out if he called him this late, so he settled on a text instead, because that definitely wouldn't wake him up either, Neil.

Wait.

Oh god.

He kissed him earlier, didn't he?

WHAT WAS HE GOING TO SAY?!

It would be stupid to act like nothing happened! HE KISSED HIM FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! How could he backpedal from this? He couldn't just say, 'hey, about that kiss yesterday, this may be awkward but i have a really big crush on you. okay, that's all i had to say! by the way, how was your day?'! What the fuck were you THINKING, NEIL?! He'll probably never talk to you again! Neil felt sick to his stomach realizing what he did, and tried to think of a solution. Well, a simple 'hello' couldn't hurt, and if he asks what was yesterday about, then tell the truth! It can't be that hard, right?

It was 5 AM in the morning, and Neil was still staring at his phone screen, his finger just slightly above the send button. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> words. more words


	3. Stuff Happens Pt 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max tells Nikki he likes Neil. Also Max's dad shows up.

Max wasn't expecting a text from Neil at 7 AM in the morning, or even any text at all at that hour, but he guessed he'd would always wake up early. He was still in bed, and half-asleep, he tried to read the blurry text as best as he could. It was...one word. Hel....Hell? Help?! Why does he need help?! Did something happen?!

Oh. Hello.

Part of him wanted to ask him immediately what happened yesterday, but the majority of him was way too tired to even process an answer, so he tried his best to text out a response back, and went back to sleep. 

\---

As soon as he sent the text, he waited, and waited, and waited, and his heart nearly burst out of his chest once he received a notification on his phone. Neil didn't want to look at it at first, but knew he had too. It was like the most dramatic moment in his life, reaching for that phone. His heart was going a million miles per hour, and he was sweating so profusely that he could feel water running down his face at rapid speeds, his eyes were red, and he just wanted to go to sleep, he just wanted to-

'Hey.'

Okay.

That didn't go so bad, Neil sighed out of relief. But, the scrollbar revealed that there was another message that his phone didn't notify him of. Oh no, what could it be? Neil was back to hyperventilating again, but he tried his best to calm himself before he scrolled down.

'I'm glad you texted me.'

...

Wait, why is his nose bleeding?!

\---

When Max woke up, it was almost 9 AM, though he didn't get out of bed. He was too caught up thinking about Neil. Max wasn't really sure if him and Neil were still friends, or something more than that now, or if Neil wanted to be something more than that, because Max did, and he wanted to know, he really did, he had too, but he knew he had to take it slow and ease into the topic...or maybe, Neil would just bring it up himself. Maybe he'd flat out say he loved him, or something. Ugh, don't be ridiculous, Max, he'd never say that! God, it was like as if he was a hormonal teenage girl. Neil made him this way. It was his fault. 

His phone buzzed and he instantly jumped from the sudden noise. He mentally hit himself for being such a wuss, and checked to see if it was a message from Neil, and it was. He just asked him if he was still sleeping. Max smiled(only a little), and was about to text him back, until he heard a rough knock at his door which made him freeze. 

Max knew it was his father. He told him to come in, and the taller man smiled at him when he saw him. "Hey, sport!" He greeted him, though he was only met with eyes of pure hatred. "Hey." Max said monotone, eyeing his movements. His father sat beside him on the bed, and Max shuddered when he grabbed his shoulder. "Sorry I couldn't see you yesterday. I had to work late hours. But your alright, right? Did you have a great time at summer camp?" Max played with his fingers nervously, and he just nodded. The hand on his shoulder gripped him tighter. He couldn't move. "Speak to me." His father was stern. 

"Y-Yes..."

"Good! Your mother's almost done with breakfast. I'm sure she'll call you down when it's ready," He said, standing up from the bed and letting Max go. Max didn't respond as he left the room. Too shook out of his previous mood, Max just texted Neil a simple 'no' to his question and just sat there.

His father...was something to be feared, to say the least. He was strong, and so tall that Max was considered a runt compared to him. He was forceful, but not cruel...at least, that's what Max liked to think. He didn't want to think about his bad side. Right now, he was just relieved that he was gone.

He received another notification, but this time, it was from Nikki. Max mentally hit himself again for forgetting to text her as soon as he woke up, as he was so hyper focused on receiving a message from Neil that he didn't think of texting Nikki at all. It was a simple 'hey', and 'how are you doing?', and Max said hello and replied that he wasn't doing much, however, her next message caught him off guard.

'So, are you and Neil a thing and you never told me?' Max froze, and then looked around for a suitable response.

'Well, I don't know exactly about the "us being a thing" part, but...' Max answered honestly. 

'But whaaaaaat? C'mon, Max, you can tell me anything!' Nikki answered back immediately.

'Listen, if you tell him any of this, I will...' Slit your throat? Nah, too violent. 'If you tell him any of this, there will be fucking hell to pay, you hear me? Don't mutter a god damn word of what I say next to him, got it?' 

'Mmhm!' Nikki made a untrustworthy reply back.

'Okay, I...like him, not that much, but, just a little. Don't get me wrong, he's still a fucking moron, but...' 

His phone started to ring the second he replied to her, and when he answered, all he could hear was giddy screaming on the other line. He rolled his eyes. "Max, I would've never known you could actually have a crush on somebody let alone not hate them!"  
"Yeah, surprising, I know. Just keep your mouth shut, or else."  
"I will, I promise!" Nikki cheered wholeheartedly.  
"Soooo, why?" Nikki asked.  
"What?"  
"Why do you like him?"  
"Do I really have to explain it?"  
"Isss it because he kissed you?"  
"No! Well, yes, that, but, there's more to it! I just..." Though he would never admit it, hearing Nikki's voice and telling someone else about his feelings made him feel...safer. Nikki was probably the last person he should've told, as she was very naive, but telling his parents was out of the question. Max was willing to let his guard down. Just this time.  
"...I want to see him happy."  
Nikki giggled on the other line, and Max groaned before continuing.  
"Also, he's...super nice to me. Sure he can be a selfish asshole at times, but that's basically me all the time, so I can forgive him for that. Also, he's...passionate in everything that he does. He's amazing, really, and..."  
Nikki didn't say anything, but Max didn't continue. "Hm?" She spoke up after his pause. "I...I've said enough. God, that's embarrassing..."  
"It's okay to have a crush, Max!" Nikki smiled. "Besides, it proves you have a little bit of humanity inside of you."  
"I guess it does."  
"It won't hurt to tell him how you feel. Besides, I'm more than 100% sure he likes you back."  
Max huffed when she said the obvious. "Yeah, not like I figured that out already. I just...I don't know what to do."  
"Tell him you like him back!" Nikki dragged her words so Max could fully understand her. "He's going to say yes, Max. I highly doubt he'd say anything near no after what happened yesterday."  
"Well, I'm still...not so sure, about telling him..."  
"It's okay to be unsure. You don't gotta tell him right away. Just when your ready."

Maybe she was right. Trying to tell him when he was nervous would do him no good. He had to wait for the best time, when it felt natural. 

"Yeah," Max said quietly. "When I'm ready."


	4. lov at first site :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil wakes up because his mother wakes him up and it goes downhill from there

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> incase yall dont know what day it is. its sunday.

When Neil woke up, the rays of sunshine radiating from the windows nearly blinded him, and he sat up and rubbed at his eyes in a feeble attempt to stop them from hurting. He swore there was a noise that woke him up though, and it sounded like it came from his door. "Yeah?" He called. The door opened slowly, and his mother peered out from the doorway. When she realized he just woke up, she gasped, and put a hand over her mouth. "Did I wake you up? I'm sorry!" She whispered, and slowly walking into the room. When she closed the door behind her, Neil looked up at her with a confused look, as she stood in place awkwardly. "So, you okay?" She asked.

"Um, yeah?" Neil answered. She stood for a while some more before she went to sit next to him. He was wondering what was up with her, because she seemed very...nervous, more than she usually was. "I just wanted to ask, since...you seemed so sad about leaving science camp. I didn't think you'd cry over it," She said. Oh, yeah, that. "I'm fine, now. I just miss it. A lot." He replied, looking the other way. For a second, his mother gave him a sad look, before gently resting her hand on his shoulder. The smaller boy didn't resist her touch. "Alright, so, are you excited for middle school?" Neil rolled his eyes at the thought of being excited for anything involving school. Well, science was one thing to be excited about. But other than that, school would do nothing but give him a grim reminder that he was separated from his friends, and that summer was over, and all those days he spent with him would happen again, but he had to wait. He didn't want to wait at all. "Not really." He answered vaguely. His mother paused for a second before she continued trying to talk to him. "I know meeting new people and being in a new environment can be scary, but you'll get through it. The only thing you really have to worry about is homework, but you've always been pretty good at that." She laughed genuinely, and it made Neil smile for at least a few seconds. "You'll be fine, okay?" She told him, patting him on the back. The boy tried to hide a breath of relief as she stood up from the bed. It's not that he didn't enjoy his mother's company, but that was just really awkward, as if some hidden tension was in the air, which was unusual, since he usually felt comfortable in her presence. "Oh, I forgot to tell you..." Neil's mother turned around to face him. He looked at her curiously, and she took a deep breath before she continued. "We saw..."  
"Saw what?"  
"The day before yesterday...when we came to pick you up. That."

Oh. Oh no. Oh no no no no no. Neil stared down at his legs, trying not to sweat but doing it anyway. His heart began racing fast, and he couldn't speak. He could only manage to say "M-Mom, I...", before the tears started to roll down his face and they wouldn't stop. He knew it's not like his parents wouldn't of noticed when he did it, but he thought they were too far away to see him, or something, or whatever! It was a mistake! The whole thing was a mistake! He should've never thought of doing that, it wasn't as if Max liked him in the first place, anyways! That was probably why Max's texts have been so distant! This was Neil's fault, he ruined their friendship, and now it'd be awkward between them for the rest of time! What was he going to say to him when they got to meet each other again, if they could even meet each other again?

Two arms wrapped around Neil's torso, and he was pulled into a soft embrace. "It's alright, Neil, it's fine." She soothed him. Her words made him calm down a little, though he was still sniffling. When he looked back up at his mother, she gave him a soft smile that he didn't expect. "We didn't know you were...but, it's okay, alright? No one is judging you here."  
Neil tried to speak, but what came out was a stutter, and his mother moved her hands from his back to his cheeks. She kissed him on the forehead, and after minutes of panting, Neil could finally control his breathing.

"Soo, what's his name?" His mother asked him once he calmed down. "M...Max." His voice was soft. "Max? So, are you two dating?"  
"N-No! S'not like we can anyways. We won't be able to see each other for the whole school year."  
"Has he told you where he lives?"  
"Yeah, but it's hours away." Neil sighed. His mother didn't say anything for a moment, which made Neil glance at her, as he was staring down at his legs the whole time.  
"Well, if you two aren't dating, then...why'd you kiss him?"  
"Because," Neil thought for a second to find the right words. "I had...pent up feelings about him that were dumb. He doesn't feel the same, I'm sure, but...doing that, released...a lot of stuff I needed to release...ever since I first met him."  
"Ah, so it was love at first sight?" She grinned. "No, nothing like that! I just...thought he was cute when I first met him. Then...it spiraled into something more than that."  
"So, love at first sight."  
"Yeah, alright, okay!" Neil gave in, and put his arms up in the air, frustrated. "Maybe it was, I don't know."  
"Well, let me tell you something," Neil's mother placed her index finger under his chin so he'd turn his head to look at her. "Your feelings aren't dumb. And your father and I love you, and will love you, no matter what. Okay?" ...Not having a response, the younger boy just stared at her when she said that.

Maybe they did understand his problems after all.

Tears began to form in his eyes, but he blinked them back.

.......

Later in the day, Neil and his mother went shopping for school supplies (pretty late considering that school was literally the very next day, but to be fair they weren't given a lot of time), and while his mother was highly focused on getting the right things, Neil didn't really look for anything at all. Usually when he had to go back-to-school shopping with her, he just stood around as his mother asked him what he needed, and would occasionally leave her sight and look at other things until she went looking for him. This time, he didn't feel like wandering much, so he just stood there while she put like 50 5 subject notebooks into the cart. "Uh, mom, you sure that's how many I need?"  
"I want to make sure I get enough to last you all three years." She responded, and Neil didn't bother to argue with her. "I think that's everything you need for school! You want to go to the clothing section and pick something out?" Neil smiled at the question and nodded, and they headed over there.

Once they arrived, he started searching for something that suited him, when a yellow shirt caught his eyes immediately. "Mom, look!" He pointed to it. "It's perfect!"  
"...Uh, don't you think you have enough yellow shirts in your wardrobe already?"  
"There's always room for more." Neil told her, and she just shrugged and put the shirt in the cart. "Though, you gotta pick out something that's not yellow, alright?" He nodded and looked for something without the color yellow that intrigued him, but...honestly, it was hard to find any clothing that wasn't yellow that fit with his style. There were green t-shirts, red jeans, orange coats, and...

Blue jackets. 

Neil walked up to one of them and felt the fabric on one of the sleeves. It felt just like the one Max wore. As his hand softly grazed the soft texture, it brought back so many memories of being at summer camp with him, almost as if he was there all over again, except the jacket didn't smell like trees and dirt. It smelled brand new. A soft smile built across his face before his mother came up to him. "Do you want this? Doesn't really get cold here, but if you want it, you can have it."

"Yeah." 

\---

A light buzz from his phone woke him up early in the morning. It had to be about 1 AM, and as he checked his phone, he figured out it was. And it was a message from him. "Damn it, Neil, why are you up texting me in an ungodly hour of the night?" He muttered to himself as he clicked on it. However irritated he was, his anger immediately faltered as he read the message.

'My first day of middle school starts tomorrow, but all I can do is think of you.'

Max woke up so quickly that his heart was about to stop. Neil sent another message immediately after that.

'AND NIKKI! Her too.'

Oh, yeah, sure.

'Neil, didn't you think texting me at 1 AM wouldn't be exactly, I don't know, the best time to text ANYONE?'

'It's 1? Oh, I didn't notice!' Moron. 'Sorry, I just got lonely.'

'Well then cuddle with a stuffed animal or something. Just go back to sleep and stop texting me.'

'When does school start for you?' Did he just ignore everything Max just had said? Or did it go through one part of his brain and out the other like the numb skull he is?

'I'm pretty sure school starts tomorrow for me as it does for you. It's not like we live states apart, idiot. Sooo, maybe we should BOTH go back to sleep so we don't fucking walk into school the next day looking like we want to die! I'm already sure I'll look like that regardless of getting sleep or not, but point is, I don't want to look even WORSE! Doesn't that sound like a great idea?'

'I can't sleep, though...' Oh my fucking god. 'maybe if I talk to you long enough, I'll eventually get tired?'

Okay, he obviously didn't get the picture. And Max obviously didn't want to spend the rest of the night talking to him. Nope, definitely didn't at all. No way. But he'd GUESS he'd stay up a little bit more, just to please him.

'Fine, fuck it. I'll talk. I guess.' 

'You have to stay awake also, though.'

'Of course I'm going to stay awake! Or at least I'll try. No promises there.'

And so, Neil started to text him long paragraphs on how his day went (excluding the 'his mother talking about how it's okay to be gay to him' tidbit) and if this was some other person, Max would be asleep as soon as he read the first word. But, it was Neil so he had to read all of it. 

As more and more time passed, he couldn't help falling in and out of sleep as his eyes felt heavier, and Neil was still fucking texting him. Wasn't it like 2 now? No, it was 3 AM! Shit, how much did Neil have to talk about?

'And...um...Max, are you there? Maaaaax.'

'what.'

'I saw a blue jacket today at the store, and it reminded me of you.'

'that's nice. can i sleep now?'

'And! AND! And it gave me nice memories of being with you, and being at Camp Camp... I just...miss you a lot...I know it's foolish, but...'

'it's not foolish to miss somebody, Neil.'

Max didn't get a reply for a few minutes, and thought his phone died or something, but he texted back after a while.

'Thank you.'

'whatever. can i go to sleep now?'

'Yeah, I allow you too. I'm tired.'

'Pft. Since when did you get permission to tell me when I can and can't sleep anyways? I'm going to bed. Goodnight.'

'Goodnight.'

Max probably smiled the most giddiest smile he had in a long time. What a dork.


	5. max cries a lot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max gets bullied at school and Neil has a good day at school

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> srry for not having enough max in the last chapter there is a lot of him in this one  
> okay maybe not  
> 

After Neil texted goodnight to him, he couldn't fall to sleep. Ah, great, just what he needed. He told himself to just tell Neil to fuck off and go back to bed, but of course, he had to let his feelings get in the way of it. What happened to you, Max? You were the lousy, apathetic kid that always wanted death, and now all you want is a nerd who could barely keep track of himself! How did it get like this? All this waiting, and waiting, and waiting for him to text back and giggling whenever he'd reply to your texts like the gay 10 year old you are! This was his fault. He started all of this. If it wasn't for him, you'd...

Max didn't notice he was crying until his vision got blurry and a headache ringed throughout his head. He threw the covers off of him in frustration and hid his face in his knees. This was stupid. This was all stupid. His unhealthy infatuation with him was stupid. Neil was stupid for liking him, for even wanting someone as negative and pessimistic as him. Why would he want him? Why would anyone want him?

Ugh, he didn't have the energy to be having an internal emotional conflict at 3 AM in the morning. He tried his best to calm down his breathing as he laid back into bed. The next few minutes were nothing but him staring at the ceiling with quiet tears coming from his eyes until he finally got some rest.

\-----------------------------

So. School.

He wished he was dead.

The first thing Max did before he got out of bed was check his phone. Neil texted him good morning, and Max was about to smile but forced himself to keep a neutral look and replied back the same thing. His mother told him to get ready, and once he was dressed up for school, they got in the car and left.

During the ride to his new school, he wasn't surprised that he wasn't thinking about anything else but Neil. He swore he thought about him so much that his face was practically stapled in his mind, not that it bothered him. Okay, it bothered him, a lot, but what could he do about it? He couldn't just make himself fall out of love. Life doesn't work that way, though he wished it was that simple. 

"Max?" The voice of his mother snapped him out of his thoughts. "Y-Yes?" Max answered swiftly. "You look very nervous, and I understand. I remember when it was my first day of middle school. Heheh, I was so scared, but at the end of the day, I realized that I survived. Sure, it can be scary, but that's only the first day. Every day forward from that is easy, alright?"  
"Okay," Max answered her. "If you really need too, I can send you motivational messages while your at school!"  
"No, please don't do that." Max spoke in disgust, though he understood that his mother just wanted him to feel at ease. Knowing that she cared helped more than anything. His dad wouldn't even blink an eye at how nervous he was. He would just tell him that he was okay and that he needed to grow up.  
His mother laughed quietly, and it filled his stomach with a warmth he couldn't describe. He really needed reassurance of some sort that he was going to be alright, and although his mother didn't know all of his situation, he felt better, as if someday, all of his pining after Neil would be worth it. He grinned, if only a little, and managed to relax a little. "Ah, there's my happy little boy! See? Your going to be okay!"  


"Yeah." He said with certainty.

When he got out the car, he opened the front door to where his mother was and she kissed him on the forehead before she let him go. He looked on as she drove away into the distance, and once he couldn't see her anymore, he slowly turned to glance up at the school in front of him. It was a large brown building that looked as if it was brand new. He knew that this school wasn't made not that long ago, but he was still astonished by the quality of it. 

She was right. He was going to be okay. 

Being in a new environment full of new people strangely wasn't that terrifying to him. He was super apathetic about all of it, really. The only real terrifying thing was having to locate his classes (He has 7 classes a day now? This is going to be a fucking nightmare.) but other than that, the teachers were very nice and patient with him, despite his rude attitude. So nice that they reminded him of David, which he absolutely hated with every fiber of his being. Or at least, outwardly, he did. 

Everything was going fine despite his several failed attempts to find his morning classes, and as he was roaming endlessly in the hallway against crowds of other students looking for his 6th period and holding his schedule in front of his face, he didn't look at where he was going and accidentally bumped into someone abnormally taller than him. The force was so hard that he was sent to the ground head-first, the impact leaving his vision blurry. Oh, no, this was bad. He could sense people starting to gather around him, questioning him and trying to help him up, but he couldn't see where they were. When he could finally make out what was going on in front of him, his eyes widened in shock.

A young man in a purple flannel stood over him with an intimidating glare that seemed like it could pierce through skulls. Max swore he was the reincarnation of Satan himself or something, and he's sure he'd have never been scared so badly than he was at that moment. He couldn't move a muscle in his presence. "Your in my way," The taller boy talked down to him, literally in this case, and proceeded to walk around the little boy, acting as if nothing ever happened. Max didn't say anything back to him, and instead, stood up and dusted himself off. He ignored and walked past the crowd of people questioning if he was okay, and continued to search for his 6th period.

\----

As soon his mom dropped him off, it started to rain. Well, this day was turning out great already. A lady he assumed worked at the school was nice enough to escort him and multiple other students to the lunchroom, where most of the kids resided. The amount of people huddled together in the cafeteria and talking to one another made him feel dizzy with anxiety, and he tried his best to keep his cool as he walked through the crowds. He tried to search out a few familiar faces from elementary, but couldn't find any, and just settled on sitting down next to a group of girls who just stared at him in return. None of them were too fond of him sitting there, but every other seat was taken, so he basically had no choice. Without further minding him as they assumed he wouldn't be a problem, they began to among themselves, albeit very quietly. Neil wasn't super interested in what they were talking about anyways. The only thing he was focusing on was getting out of this crowded ass cafeteria the first opportunity he could. Soon, the bell rung, or at least he assumed it was the bell, and everyone started slowly flowing out of the cafeteria into their respected homerooms. 

The rest of the morning was just pretty much normal, though being in a new setting made him very anxious. Although there were a few kids that sneered at him and made jokes about him, there were a few that actually greeted him kindly, which he appreciated. Although he didn't make any new potential friendships, he had a few acquaintances, and that was good enough, as being in a new environment was stressful in of itself.

When his lunch period came along, he finally managed to relax a little knowing that he'd be able to eat soon and headed into the cafeteria with numerous other kids. The cafeteria was...bigger than his old school's, now that he could really look at it. It was almost frightening. And the lines were long and it made him unbearably impatient, but at least the food looked like it was worth the wait. 

As he tried to find a table where he could sit down and there wasn't many people at it, someone called his name and he froze. Their voice sounded familiar...it was high-pitched, annoying, and squeaky, and...

Nikki?

Neil turned to the source of the voice, and he couldn't of smiled any bigger when he saw that it was her. There she was, light blue ponytails and all!! He hurried over and sat next to her, and before she could greet him, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. "Oh, I miss you too, Neil!" Nikki spoke into his shoulder, trying not to be strangled. "I haven't seen you in forever!"  
"Pfft, okay?" Nikki pulled away from the hug gently. "You literally just saw me Friday," She smiled. "I know, but it seems like it's been a lifetime." Neil sighed. "I knew that camp was driving you crazy. Probably the stuff they served us. Come on, eat some real food." Nikki smiled, handing him her oranges. "Thanks, Nikki," Neil smiled softly, and began to attempt to peel the skin. "Hey, Neil, let me see your schedule!" Nikki sort of asked sort of demanded, and Neil went into his backpack and handed it to her. When he turned back to trying to stab the orange given to him by Nikki with his thumbnail, he felt a hand grab onto his thigh and shake it fiercely, making the orange slip out of his grip. "Nikki, what-" Neil started to say before Nikki interrupted him with a scream. "We have the same 6th period together!"  
"Oh, really? Which subject is that?"  
"Science. Oh, it says...adv...adv...hon?"  
"Advanced Honors?" Neil said the full name for her like the smart ass he is.  
"Advanced Honors? What's that, is that for smart people or something?"  
"Well, not necessarily smart people, but for people who can understand the material well and have proved to be quite efficient in the subje-  
"Uggh, why'd they put me in here? I don't want to be with a bunch of nerds!" Nikki groaned at the thought. Neil frowned at her, and she didn't realize what she said until she noticed his silence and looked back at him. "Oh, hehe, sorry, Neil."  
"It's fine."  
"Well, if it's a class with you, it can't be that bad, right?"  
Neil smiled softly at her. "Don't jinx it." 

When the bell rung, Nikki grabbed his hand and he could barely pick up his things before they began heading to 6th period. He was used to being tugged around by Nikki though, so it didn't bother him. In actuality, he was sort of glad she was there to experience this with him. It made him more happy than anything. It got sort of rocky when they were trying to curve around other people in the halls, and Neil thought he was going to throw up until Nikki stopped abruptly and turned to face something, making him land face first onto the floor.

"I think it's here!" Nikki pointed to the door in front of her. There was a seemingly new sign with the word 'Science' neatly and thoughtfully etched into it, showing no signs of wear. No shit, Nikki. "Come on, let's go!"  
Neil picked himself off the ground slowly but surely and they headed inside. Once they were in there, Neil swore he never seen anything so beautiful before that point. There were posters plastered all over the wall concerning solar systems, chemical compounds and everything else that made his love for science rock hard. His eyes glanced all over the room, and he started to violently shake the poor girl's shoulders to get her attention. "Nikki, a-are you seeing..." He practically whispered, pointing at one thing, and then the other. "Neil, you just pointed to like, 10 things, and I still don't know what you are talking about."  
"EVERYTHING, NIKKI! This place is amazing! Look at it!"  
"Your stiiill not making any sense. Ooh, what does this do?" Nikki walked over to a flask on the teacher's desk and picked it up carelessly, staring at it in awe. "Ah! Nikki, don't touch that!" Neil shouted frantically at her. He snatched the flask from her hand, and Nikki frowned and crossed her arms. "This is delicate science equipment! You can't just go dawdling around in places like-"  
"What's that thing?"  
"WHAT DID I JUST SAY?!"

After a while, other students slowly flowed into the room along with the teacher, and of course Neil and Nikki sat by each other. As the teacher greeted themselves and talked about how the class will go, Nikki got overwhelmingly bored and flicked at Neil's shoulder. "Yes, Nikki?"  
"What's he talking about?"  
"I don't know. Maybe you should listen?" Neil told her firmly and turned his head towards the teacher. Nikki tried to listen to what the teacher was saying, but his voice was so dull that every word just slipped through her brain. Not getting the hint that Neil didn't want to talk to her, she flicked his shoulder again.  
"What?!" Neil spoke with an irritated tone. "Geez, chill. God, I swear, sometimes you remind me exactly of Max. I can see why he has a crush on you."

"...Huh?"

"Oooohhhhh. Oh no. I-I mean, uh..." Shit, Nikki blew it, didn't she? She was supposed to keep a promise to him! She didn't dare look at Neil after she said those words. The taller boy didn't respond. He instead looked off into space, and Nikki wondered if she accidentally broke him. Hesitantly, she turned her head towards him, calmly asking him, "Neil, are you alright-"  
"When did he tell you this?" Neil placed his hand on hers and gripped it to the point it sort of hurt, though he didn't mean to cause harm to her. "Well, he told me not to tell you, but it just...sort of slipped out. Oops?"  
"Really? He does like me?" Neil tightened his hold on her, and Nikki shrieked in pain, making the students around them turn to look at her. "Sorry, sorry!" Neil apologized quickly, taking his hold off of her. Not knowing what to say, he started to laugh nervously, at first quietly, but then so loud and maniacally the teacher looked at him in concern. "Do you...need water, or," They looked around, wondering if they needed to call administration.  
"I just need to use the bathroom, I'll be back!" Neil was out of the classroom in a blink, so fast that Nikki didn't even see him leave. She knew Max was going to kill her for not keeping her promise, and for that she felt guilty, but it was nice to see Neil was happy. 

Her hand still hurt really bad.

\----

When school got out for the day, Max found his mother's car and got in without a word. "Hey, Max! You had a good day?" She asked him, starting up the car. Max didn't know if he should tell the truth, or lie about it just so he wouldn't worry her. He figured lying would be better, since what happened today didn't ruin his mood too much. It was simply an inconvenience. It didn't hurt him at all. "Yeah, everything went well." He answered her. "That's good! See, you survived! I knew you could do it!" She grinned at him from the front seat.  
"Yeah..."

Once he got home, he went to his bedroom immediately, trying to avoid his father as much as possible. He set his backpack down on the floor and the first thing he did was take out his phone. He texted Neil if he was there, and laid back on the bed. He responded within 2 seconds with a yes and a hello, which was sort of peculiar, but it was Neil, so he shrugged it off.

'How was your day?' Neil sent another message.

'It was...okay, I guess.'

'Something happen?' It's as if he could sense something was wrong. 

'Well, for some reason everyone at this school is insanely taller than me. It's fucking terrifying, but anyways. I bumped into one of them and fell. They said I was in their way, and then walked away like an asshole. But...other than that, today's been fine. The food's shit though.'

Neil didn't respond for a few minutes, but when he did, his response was...super angry.

'They didn't even help you up?! What the fuck is wrong with them?'

'It's not that serious, Neil.' Max texted him back, though he was giggling and smiling like an idiot over his crush being protective of him. He should have bad stuff happen to him more often.

'Not that serious? Max, you know if I was there, I wouldn't let anyone walk over you like that! Don't let him do that ever again, you hear me?'

'It's not his fault. I was the one that bumped into him.'

'Yeah, but he could've helped you up, or something, like humans with fucking decency would do!'

'Whatever. It's done now. It's not like I was crying about it or anything.'

'Max...you are the worst liar, you know that? I know how it feels to be bullied, and I know that it hurts, no matter how tough someone may be. You shouldn't let them walk all over you.'

'Thanks for being worried about me, but I'm fine, Neil.'

'Are you sure?'

'Yes, I'm sure.'

'What I said still stands, though.' 

'Yeah, yeah.' 

'...I wish I could protect you.'

Max stopped smiling when he read this.


	6. ?????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max's bully apologizes to him. And also some sad stuff happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a warning: theres going to be hints of abuse in this chapter and abuse in the next chapter.

Max didn't say anything back.

He didn't know what to say.

Neil was...never brave in most situations--he was more of a pussy, actually--but the fact that he wanted to protect him made Max feel unlike anything he ever had before. He couldn't describe it accurately enough, but to put it simply, it gave him a sense of safety that he never had.

Hesitantly, he set his phone down on his bed, only now noticing his shaky hands. Once he realized he was crying, Max wanted to hit himself in a dire attempt to get rid of his tears, but he couldn't hold them back, and so he just let them fall down his face as he set himself back down on his bed. He lifted his hand, and once again grazed the cheek where Neil kissed him, and the feeling made him feel better if only a little.

His phone vibrated violently as it started to ring, so loud that Max flinched back at the sound. He hoped it wasn't who he thought it was, because he was pretty sure he'd have a heart attack, or just cry his eyes out and embarrass himself if it was really him. Nevertheless, he had to see who it was, so he picked up his phone and looked at the screen. The brightness of the screen made him realize how dark his room was, as the sun was setting rapidly, so he turned on a lamp next to him.

Fuck, it's Neil.

How was he going to hide his shaky voice and his sniffling? Well, it's Neil, so he wouldn't pick on him for it, right? At least, he hoped not. God, he didn't want to answer but he haven't heard his voice in so long, and he so desperately needed to talk to him and hear him speak, and...ugh. 

Max answered the phone with a simple "hey", or at least he tried too. His voice came out soft, giving a telltale sign that he has been crying. The boy on the other end didn't say anything for a second before he spoke up. "Hey, Max. Are you okay?"  
"Y-Yeah. It's so good to hear your voice." The smaller boy replied hastily, not monitoring his words. "Ah, uh, well, I'm glad...to hear yours too..." Neil responded. Max only fully noticed what he said before it was too late. Shit. "D-Don't take that the wrong way, or anything! I..."  
"Heheh, Max, it's alright."  
He giggled. He giggled at his nervousness. Max felt at ease when he heard Neil's warm laughter, as it reminded him of good times back at Camp Camp when they were together. He wanted to tell him that he missed him with every fiber of his being, but he knew he could never gather the courage. Right now, all he had was his voice, and that was good enough.  
"But still...I hope he doesn't bother you again. If something like that happens to you again, call me."  
Max scoffed at this. "Psh, what are you going to do? Teleport here and beat him up?"  
"If I could, I'd do it. Just call me when stuff like that happens, okay?"  
"It's fine, really. I told you it's fine."  
"I know, I know. Still." Neil's voice was low and serious, and Max's first reflex was to insult him due to how embarrassed the smaller boy was, but he stopped himself.  
"Yeah, I'll...let you know. I guess."

"Oh, yeah," Max spoke after the brief silence. "I forgot to ask you how you were doing."  
"Did I tell you Nikki goes to the same school as me?"  
What. "What? Nikki? You two live close to each other?"  
"Apparently. You don't know how relieving it is to have someone you know suffer the first day of going to a new school with you."  
"No. I don't."  
"Oh, yeah...sorry."  
Max chuckled. "It's okay."

"Uh..."  
"What?" 

"You laughed! And it was genuine! There was no sinister intent behind it!"  
Max couldn't help but let out another giggle at Neil being surprised. He was 100% sure Neil heard him laugh when he wasn't picking on someone getting hurt or bullied. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But still, the fact that it drove him to absolute hysteria over him laughing without malicious intention couldn't help but make him happy.  
"Yeah, so what?" Max smiled.  
"It's...it's nice."

"Thank you."

There was a brief silence between the two, before Neil awkwardly cleared his throat. "Well, uh...anyways, Nikki and I have the same science period together. I wish I had more classes with her, but I have lunch with her also, so that's good."  
"Is she an annoying pain in the ass like she always is?"  
Neil sighed. "Yeah, but she's a little more calmer, I think? Well, not really, but, she's bearable."  
"Tell her I said hey."  
"I will."

So, turns out calling was way better than texting.

Neil had a lot to talk about, and Max honestly wished that he could sit and listen to him ramble on forever about science class and whatever shenanigans he got into with Nikki, but soon it started to grow dark, and when Max's mom reminded him that his bedtime was soon, he said goodbye to him.

"...We've been talking for that long?" Neil said.  
"Looks like it...I wasn't really keeping track of time."  
"I guess you have to get to bed, huh?" Neil spoke softly. Max's smile faltered when he could tell that he was slightly disappointed. He really wished he could talk to him more, and would if he was allowed.  
"Yeah, I'll...talk to you later. Hopefully." Max replied.  
"Of course we'll talk later." The taller boy responded with a smile in his voice, then hung up.

Max couldn't sleep that night.

\---

And...neither could Neil.

The boy simply stared at his ceiling from his bed, and barely noticed the faint sounds of pattering against his window as he turned to his side and forced his eyes shut.

\---

Soooo. School again.

Max still wished he was dead.

By now, he was used to navigating his classes, so he didn't have to worry about looking at his schedule every 2 seconds as he lingered the hallways. The school was also relatively small in size, which made getting to places more quicker and efficient. The smaller boy was still only slightly alert of his surroundings as he went to his first class, as he definitely didn't want an incident like yesterday to happen to him again. (Or run into that asshole by any chance.) 

As the first part of his day drifted by, painfully slowly he might add, Max was underwhelmed with boredom from his over-positive teachers talking about school safety and other stuff he could care less about, and felt just a little bit of joy knowing that his next period would be lunch. Not that he really enjoyed the food they served at all, it was just an hour of free time he could have to himself and away from annoying kids that drove him out of his mind from even being near them. Who knew middle schoolers were so fucking annoying? Will Max turn into one of those demons? He hoped to God he wouldn't. 

Once he got his food, he sat down at a table that wasn't very populated, as he did yesterday. He didn't really care where he sat, as long as people didn't try to initiate conversation with him and he could be at peace. It's not that he was antisocial, he just didn't want to talk to anybody or anyone and he wanted no one to disturb him. He had something really important to do anyways, which required all of his time and focus. 

And no, it wasn't silently daydreaming about Neil while playing awkwardly with his spoon and staring off into space.

Okay. Maybe.

After what seemed like hours but was actually about 5 minutes of Max just sitting and barely paying attention to his food as he stared off into space, a hand gripped his shoulder and he jolted upright so quick that his knee collided with the bottom of the table, leaving him doubled over in pain. "Oh, shit, sorry, are you okay?" The voice behind him asked quietly while he growled in frustration. "What is it?" He snarled, turning to look at the person who just indirectly broke his kneecap. The anger from his face slowly melted away as he realized who it was.

The gay purple flannel. That intimidating look in his eyes.

Max bit back a cry for help and turned back around to his table so he wouldn't have to face him. Why, oh why was he here? To torment him some more? Well, if he was here to bully him, he wouldn't of apologized to him. Perhaps he was here for some other ungodly reason? It...wouldn't hurt asking him. "Why are you here?" His tone wasn't aggressive, and it was more of a statement than a question. He sounded a bit frightened, actually. He didn't look at the boy as he went to sit down next to him, a little bit too close for his personal comfort, but if he tried anything, Max knew to scream. "I..." The boy started, trying to focus on another object close to them to avoid making the situation more awkward. "I'm sorry. About yesterday."  
Wait. He's sorry? That's what he came here to tell him? Max tried his best to keep a straight face at that comment. "Okay? Is that all you wanted to say?"

"Actually, no..." The boy answered nervously. His eyes looked back and forth before he took off his backpack and proceeded to rummage through it, looking for something. Max didn't know whether to be curious or scared, until the boy finally found what he was looking for and placed it in front of Max.

"...What is this?"  
"Money."  
"...So, your basically bribing me to forgive you?"  
"...Yes..."  
"Well, that's fucking stupid. Anyone with a brain could see why that wouldn't work," Max stated coldly, taking the money and shoving it into the older boy's chest carelessly.  
"What am I supposed to do, then?" The boy then said in a dire attempt to remedy the situation. "For you to forgive me?"  
"Listen, can you fuck off? I'm not really in the mood to teach you life lessons you should already know. Besides, it's okay. I'm over it anyway," The boy looked disheartened as he said this, but he continued. "So just take your stupid money and go." 

"I'm...a 6th grader too..."  
"Did you not hear anything I just sai-...wait, what?"  
"Yeah," The strange boy grinned a little. "I...wanted to look tough, but I...felt bad immediately afterwards...I was thinking of how to make it up to you, and..."  
Max really could do nothing but stare at him in shock. "So...your telling me. Your a 6th grader. A giant like you, is a fucking 6th grader?!"  
"I got a major growth spurt in elementary school, I don't know exactly why, but I think I got it from my dad, but, anyways, I...I'm just...I feel bad, okay? I realized the damage I've done and I don't know what to do."  
"Well, for one, bribing people to forgive you with money is probably not the best course of action to take," Max said nonchalantly. "People can't just...forgive, just like that. It takes time. And it was a stupid incident that shouldn't of happened, but it's okay."  
"No, it's not. I, I was being irrational. I should've helped you up. I should've."

Max continued to stare at the taller boy with confusion, but figured that he was just a faux tough guy that actually just wanted to find a place where he could fit in, just like he secretly did. He was stupid, but it was a sweet sort of stupid that Max appreciated, though acted like he hated. Not knowing what to do, the boy tried to pat the taller one on the shoulder but couldn't reach it so he just pat his chest instead. "Don't let it eat you from the inside out," He said softly. "It wasn't okay, but it's done. And I forgive you."

"...Thanks. My names Alexander, by the way."  
"Max."  
"That's a cool name."  
"Pft. Yeah. It's only the most common three letter name in the entire world."  
"It's still cool, though. Reminds me of that show, Mad Max."  
"That's a movie, you idiot."  
"Oh, yeah. Hey, the name Mad Max sort of fits you!"  
"I swear, if you ever refer to me as Mad Max or variation of the sort, I will not hesitate to slam you into the nearest hardest metal object I can find!"  
"See?"

And, Max had no idea how, but he made a new friend that day.

\---

Neil probably looked like he'd been through a car crash with how little sleep he had managed to get the other night, but he didn't really pay much mind to his appearance. Other students asked if he was sick or if he needed to go to the nurse, but he waved them off and said that he was fine, even though he could pass out literally any minute. 

His condition only grew worse when lunch came around, and even Nikki was slightly worried. He didn't even grab anything to eat. He just sat next to her and laid his head down. "Neil, you look dead." Nikki pointed up, nudging him softly. "Because I've been up all night. Again." Neil mumbled so low that she could only barely understand him "Doing what? Teeexting him?" She teased him, pushing against him a little. "Who? Max? Yeah, I called him. We talked for a little."  
"Ooooh, what about?"  
"Max talked about someone at school that hurt him, and we got into sort of a mini argument about it. But we've settled it."  
"Someone hurt him? What happened?"  
"He didn't tell you?"  
"Nah, he haven't texted me in a while, actually."

Neil explained everything that happened to her on the condition that she wouldn't bring it up with Max, as he most likely wouldn't want to talk about it, and she agreed.  
"Sucks that some people are like that. If I was there, I would've kicked him in the face!"  
"Same here."  
"I feel bad that Max is all alone. I wish we all went to the same school together." Nikki sighed. "Why'd you get in a argument about it?"  
"You know, Max is stubborn. Insists everything is fine when it's not." Neil rubbed his face in exhaustion, and yawned quietly as Nikki looked on. "You were arguing the whole night or something?" She said.  
"No. Actually, we stopped talking around like...8. But, my insomnia kicked in, so that happened."  
"Neil, I never knew you had insom...insomn...insoma!"  
"Insomnia." He corrected her, taking a piece of food from Nikki's plate without asking her. "But. Yeah. The argument didn't last for that long. I let it be, and we talked about other things."  
"Oh, what other things?" Nikki smiled slyly, and nudged at him again. Neil was barely keeping his eyes open at this point, and Nikki was almost scared that he'd just flat out faint on the cafeteria table.  
"I don't remember that well, but...I remember the best thing was being able to listen to him laugh over the phone. It sounded so...cute. Like it could cure diabetes, you know?"  
"Woah, Max laughed?! Without sinister intent?"  
"That's what I said when it happened!"  
"That's proof he has it bad for you," Nikki punched Neil playfully, and the taller boy just grinned lazily at her in response. 

"Yeah," He mumbled, before he closed his eyes.

"Neil? Neil? Are you dead?"

\----

Once Max walked out of the school and noticed his mom's car in the driveway, he knew something was wrong, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly what. When he got into the car, he knew something bad must've happened, as his mother didn't greet him in the happy, cheery voice she usually did. She sounded more nervous, and her hands were shaking ever so slightly on the driving wheel. This was...odd. She usually wasn't like this. Even on bad days, she managed to keep her best attitude possible. But now, she just looked so distant. Like she wanted to do nothing more than take Max home and be done with it. He barely managed to catch a glimpse of her eyes in the car mirror, but as soon as he noticed she looked like she was crying he knew something went down. He didn't know if he should've asked her what was wrong, as it was scary to see her like this. Nevertheless, he tried to think of something to say.

"Mom, are you-"  
"I'm fine, sweetie. Nothing to worry about." She spoke quickly, and Max didn't say another word.

As she started down the road, Max was still wondering why she was acting so strange. It could be that she have got into another argument with his father, which was no old news to him, but this time, he felt it was something more than that. 

And he soon realized what it was.

There were a dozen purple marks lining her right arm. They weren't apparent, but they were there. That could've only meant one thing. Max didn't know how to react, but he was too emotionally struck to cry, or do anything. He just stared, trying to hope that what he was seeing was just a part of his imagination, that none of it was real, and the bruises on her arm would fade away and she'd be okay and happy again.

There was one thing for sure that Max saw, though. And that was red.


	7. sad city

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> u: hello i wuld like sum happy max x neil moments in this chaptr plz  
> me: happy machine broke

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR NOT UPDATIGN THIS IN 50 YRS THIS STORYS NOT DEAD  
> the story shooould have chapters flow in weekly from now on. problab.y. maybe
> 
> and.. thsi chapter is like. soopa sad. like. rlly. you can skip it if u want too. tho u cant really yet but like. yeah. BIG TW FOR ABUSE

The sky grew grey and ominous with the promise of rain as they pulled up the driveway to Max's house. His mother didn't announce that they were home, as she would always do. She just absent-mindedly got out of the car and headed to the front door, not even bothering to look back to see if Max was following behind her. Max got out of the car cautiously after grabbing his backpack and proceeded to walk with her without a word. She opened the door and motioned him to go inside, and he went into the house, heading towards his bedroom. He barely noticed his dad's presence (as if he wanted too) as he walked up the stairs, and didn't say anything when he said 'hello' to him.

Once he was safe in his room, he threw his things aside, and sat down on his bed in silence, still trying to process what he just saw only moments earlier. Even though he was absolutely positively sure what it was and what happened, he didn't want to believe it, because he still in some way wanted to think that his father was a good person. It's not like he could just ask. It'd be too risky, even though he so desperately wanted answers. 

He had no idea what to feel, or what to do in this situation. He knew that his father hit his mother. That was a given. But, how could he in anyway confront him about it, especially in a way that wouldn't warrant complete chaos? He was angry, he knew that. And he wanted to absolutely destroy him, but he'd be overpowered by him easily, and that very fact made Max hate his father and himself twice as more. He wished he wasn't so small. He wished he could protect his mother like he should be able too. But no. He was powerless, and all he could do at this point was be in his room and hopefully never have to see that nervous and hurt look on his mother's face ever again. 

He scooted back further onto his bed so he could place his head into his knees, and he didn't move from where he was until the bright shadows in his room slowly transitioned into purple and midnight blue shades, the stars visible and bright in the sky. His parents were quiet all night, and he couldn't hear anything going on from downstairs, which slightly worried him. His phone has buzzed about a million times by then--obviously someone wanted attention--but Max was nowhere in the mood to talk let alone have any conversation. As much of thinking of talking to Neil would make him feel better immensely, he was too tense, to nervous to even consider picking up his phone. 

But at least, for the first time in a few hours he can feel something close to normal again, if only for a little while. 

Max slowly reached for his phone and held it up to his face, the brightness startling him a little. There were 10 new messages from Neil? God, he heard of double texting being awkward, but this took the cake. All of them were pretty...concerning, also. He was constantly asking him if he was okay every other hour from what started off as a simple hello. Max scoffed at this. Of course he was! He didn't die in the few hours he didn't receive an answer from him! If anything, it was Neil that was acting like he was dying! 

Neil's worry for him made him grin, but only a tiny bit.

'Hey, I'm not dead.' Max texted back simply. 

'Oh, I'm so relieved you texted me! You weren't responding all night.'

'Probably because I was doing things, you dumb shit?' Too harsh? Too harsh. 'Probably because I was doing things, dumbass?' Yeah, that works.

'S-Sorry,' Did he really just stutter in text? 'I didn't realize you could've been doing something like homework...'

'It's fine. Whatever. I understand. Just don't send me 60 messages next time I don't respond the very next second, please?'

'Ah. Alright. Did you have a good day today?'

Oh, the almighty question. 'It was shitty. But then again, I have shitty days everyday, so that's not much of a surprise.' 

'What happened? Did he bother you again?' Oh, here comes Neil's protective side. Max tried his best not to smile. 

'No, no. It's...something else. It's dumb, something that shouldn't of happened. I don't want to talk about it.' 

'You sure?'

'Yeah. In fact, that asshole guy sort of...became my friend? I have no idea how it happened, but it did.'

'What?! You sure he's not trying to be friends with you as a ploy for something malicious?'

'Yeah. I'm pretty sure. He seemed to feel...genuinely bad about what he did. I said that it was okay, but he said it wasn't and kept on apologizing. After that, he sat next to me and we...talked. And I got to know him better.'

'Sooo, he's not bad?'

'Not really, no.'

'Okay, he's good in my book. But he better treat you good for now on.'

Max held back a happy scream when Neil sent this, and he was about to type his own message when he heard a swift knock on his bedroom door, making him look up from his phone. 

The voice that came from outside his room was his mother. "Max, I got to go to work, something came up and I may not be home until midnight. There's food in the fridge if your hungry, alright?"  
The tiny boy nodded, but he realized that his mother couldn't see him, so he shouted a simple 'yes' instead. 

He heard footsteps lingering away from his door, and all the ease he could've had before completely left his body at that point, as the cold thought of him and his father being the only people in the house hit him. Max was no doubt scared of him, and he didn't want to risk leaving his room if he'd end up having to face him, so going out to get food wasn't an option.

As shitty as it was, and as much his stomach would hurt, he wouldn't dare take one step out of that door.

So, Max stayed cooped up in his room.

He didn't really have much else to do except text Neil and wait for his mother to return from work, so that's what he did. Neil didn't have anything particularly interesting to say involving his school day, not that it bothered Max in any way whatsoever. He was just glad that he had someone, especially him, to talk too. It definitely made him feel less nervous to know that somebody was there for him when he needed it, and the thought of Neil caring about him made him smile to absolutely no end. 

'Hey, Max?'

'what.'

'When we get to see each other again at camp, I hope we get paired up in the same tent, like last summer.'

Max smiled.

'So I can listen to your god awful snoring again? Um, no thanks. Plus, your talking like summer ended months ago.'

'Ha, ha. I guess it just wouldn't feel the same if I had to share a tent with someone else.'

'If you share a tent with Nikki, maybe it won't be so bad.'

'That'd be nice, except that girl never sleeps. She'd most likely keep me up at night if my insomnia doesn't.'

'Yeah, she would.' Max grinned.

'Speaking of Nikki, she said you haven't texted her lately. Now, why is that?' 

Oh, Max forgot too. 

'I'mma be honest. I keep forgetting to text her. It's not like I low key dislike her now or anything. We talked recently, but...uh, yeah. We haven't talked in a while.'

'Okay, just remember to talk to her sometimes, alright?'

'As if you need to tell me.'

'Apparently, I do.'

'Shut up.'

'Oh, it's getting late, isn't it?' Max's heart almost stopped once he realized Neil was going to bed, but he tried to brush it off. 'I should be heading off to bed. Get your rest too, Max.'

'Psh, you don't gotta remind me to sleep. I think I can do that on my own, unlike someone I know.'

'Hey, harsh. But anyways, goodnight, Max. Sweet dreams.'

'Goodnight.'

Neil saying 'sweet dreams' to him made a certain feeling of warmth sprout up from inside of him, and he held his phone to his chest lovingly before placing it on his nightstand, not even noticing how gay he was being. Max would probably never understand how Neil could bring him such relief even when he was so nervous. All he knew was that he made him happier than ever, and that might've sounded a bit dramatic if it wasn't literally true.

 

However, his happiness was short-lived, as two bangs on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. 

Oh, oh, no. Max grimaced in fear.

Once he knew it was his father, he froze on the bed, not making a sound when he called out his name.  
His father's voice was gruff, and firm. "Max, let me in."  
No response.  
"Hey, Max, what did I say?" His dad said. By the tone of his father's voice, it's obvious that he had been drinking, as Max knew it all too well. The little boy couldn't bring himself to speak. What might of been joy and gleefulness has completely left him at this point, and now, he was just...enraged. Stressed. Afraid. 

After a few sounds of his father tinkering with the lock, Max's door flew open so hard that it practically slammed against the wall, and he froze in place after he flinched at the sound. The taller man walked towards him with hatred built in his eyes.

"Why didn't you answer me?!" The older man gripped Max by the neck and held him in the air. "I-I..." Max coughed out, trying to gasp for air, but not being able to due to the force on his neck. "I'm sorry..." He managed to say to him, but his father didn't seem to be impressed. If anything, his response made him more angrier. "You've been straight up ignoring me ever since you started going to school. You treat me like I am invisible. I said 'hello' to you earlier and you didn't even mutter a word to me! You just went into your room. Do you know everything I do for you? Oh, right, you don't because your ungrateful! Your an ungrateful piece of shit!"

Max was thrown onto the ground with an almost deadly force, and his head hit the floor so violently that his vision grew blurry. He couldn't comprehend anything that was happening in front of him as he lifted his head, but was shaking uncontrollably now, sobbing as he rolled over onto his back so he could look his father in the eyes. He was trying to say something, but all that came out of his mouth was stuttering and whimpering. His father just looked on with a straight look on his face, and crouched down and pulled him up by his hair, forcing him to sit up and meet his gaze. "Honestly, why was I given such a shitty son? Your nothing but a fucking runt," He spoke coldly to him. 

"Y-You hit her," Max stuttered out between shaky breaths. 

"Who? Your mother? Yeah. And how'd you find out about that? Did she tell you?"  
"I saw it, you idiot! I saw where you hurt her!" Max got up in his face. "What?! You think I wouldn't see it?! You think I wouldn't notice that her arm was covered in bruises?" He screamed at him, and he was back to crying immediately afterwards. "You are nothing but a monster! Why would you hurt her?! Tell me!" Max shouted. He was disgusted when he saw that his father was smiling at his tears. He was smiling at his pain. Max never knew of someone that could be as much as a scumbag as him, to find his crying enjoyable, and finding him being hurt to be entertaining of all things. Right now, he wanted nothing more but for his father to be dead. Dead, so he would never have to see him look at him again. Dead, so he would never hurt anyone ever again. But he knew that couldn't happen, and that's what made him angry the most.

His father stood up over him, and Max only vaguely was able to notice what he was taking out from behind him, his face filling with horror once he realized that it was a cracked open beer bottle with sharp edges.

The next words his father said was soft and monotone. "Because, I can." 

What happened next was in a split second, Max only barely being able to register it, but he was suddenly back on his stomach and clutching at his face while cries racked through his entire body. He tried to remember where he was, but tears were burning in his eyes, making him unable to comprehend anything that just happened. Then as if in an instant, he sensed something flowing down his face, along with a burning sensation coming from near the bottom of his forehead. 

He took one of his shaking hands and ran it from between his eyes to the bottom of his nose, and his eyes shot open at the sight of fresh blood that stained his tiny fingers. His heart began to race unimaginably fast, as he realized that his father struck him with the bottle. He had to escape, some way, somehow, and now, because if he didn't, he'd only be hurt more.

He tried his best to crawl from him, but he didn't know where he was going, and his father was able to effortlessly place his foot down on his leg to trap him. Max was begging for him to get off of him so he could escape, and that he was sorry, but his father didn't listen. 

The little boy closed his eyes.

Max wished Neil was there, to protect him.

He wished so much that the blood running down his face would stop and Neil would appear in front of him, ready to kill his abusive father for everything that he did.

He wished, and wished, and wished, and wished.

But he never came.


	8. if only

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Max thinks a lot in this chapter. I guess. Also he goes to the hospital.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SRRY i know i said i was gonna update soon, but like. Hurricane Irma and stuff. And power going out. So yeah. this chapter is very short but u get a shitty drawing by yours truly on top of shitty writing SO BONE APP THE TEETH  
> this chapter was also mostly improv im sorr  
> also ch 9 is gonna be longer. yah

Max couldn't recall much that happened afterwards.

He felt himself be picked up and carried out of his room. He didn't know where he was being taken, as his eyes were too full of tears to see out of, and the headache ringing through his head hindered his ability to focus.

Soon, they were outside, and once he heard a car door open, he was placed into the backseat and the car door slammed shut behind him, leaving him in the car. Who he assumed to be his father got into the driver's seat, and soon the car started moving.

Max was starting to feel nervous as he didn't know where his dad was taking him, but he was asleep before he could say anything.

...

..

.

 

"Hello, Max? You're in the hospital."

A familiar voice made Max stir from his sleep and slowly gain consciousness. Once he opened his eyes, the first thing he noticed was a white ceiling above him. Also, that it was cold. Terribly cold. Biting cold. His arms felt like icy stones that wouldn't budge no matter how much the little boy tried to lift them, forcing Max to stay in his position. A headache ringed throughout his head, making him groan involuntarily, and he could feel his mother place her hand on his shoulder. He turned his head ever so slightly to be able to see her face, and he couldn't of been more glad to know that that was his mother standing beside him and not his father. He didn't want to see him at all. He didn't want to see him ever again, if that was possible. His mother obviously had worry in her eyes, something that his father never could have for him. "Are you okay, my darling?" She asked with genuine concern. No. Max wasn't. He was far from okay. But he nodded lazily at her, making her smile softly. He didn't want to say no, because he hated being pitied. He felt like he didn't deserve to be pitied. "Your father said you went snooping around in the gardening equipment and an accident happened. He didn't give me all the details, but..."  
Right then and there, Max started to cry.

His mother pulled him close to her chest as she softly stroked his hair, and he didn't realize how much he needed physical affection beforehand. She was warm, and the thought of her caring about him made him feel slightly less terrible, because at least someone did. "We'll be home, soon, okay? You got a bad scar from it, but the doctors stitched you up, so you should be fine."  
"M-Mom..." Max choked out. "It was so cold, I-I...it was so cold,"  
"You don't have to talk about it right now, sweetheart, just rest." His mom gently placed him back onto the hospital pillow, and Max felt overwhelmingly drowsy the second he felt the cushion press at the back of his head. He was still shaking, but his crying had dimmed down to only sniffles by now, and that was more than good enough. The feeling of sleepiness overtook him, and he was asleep once again.

He didn't remember most of the ride home.

...

..

.

Max woke up far earlier before the sun began to rise, and was almost relieved when he realized he was back at home. He was afraid that something else might've been wrong, which would of resulted in him having to stay at the hospital longer, but thankfully, everything seemed to be okay, and Max was mostly okay physically wise, save for the scar.

Although, mental wise was a whole other story.

The boy lifted his right arm, and ran a single finger down the scar protruding out from between his eyes. It was painfully noticeable, and he was scared even more of how it actually appeared, as he haven't even got to look at it yet. He didn't want to imagine how badly the scar impacted him...but, he was curious.

Carefully, Max slipped out of bed, heedful not to make any accidental loud creaks, and stumbled his way through the darkness of his room until he somehow in some miraculous way, finally made it to his door. He had to be EXTRA attentive not to wake up his parents, and he definitely took note of this as he made sure to open the door calmly and lightly, barely enough to make a crack in the door for him to squeeze through it and into the hallway.

The hallway was even more darker than his room. Max groaned, but still was determined to find the bathroom, heading in the direction he knew it was. He wouldn't be lying if he said he wasn't usually scared of the dark or scary things in general, but he felt slightly nervous trying to walk through the abyss of nothingness in order to get to his destination. He was mostly afraid of tripping on something and dying, although the hallways usually weren't cluttered at all. Though, this all could just be due to the fact that he was just very good at tripping on air.

When he finally found where he was going (thank God, that felt like an eternity), he gave himself a mental high-five and entered the quiet room quickly, closing the door behind him and turning on the lights afterwards. Once he did so, he hesitated for a tiny amount of time before he took a few nervous glances at the mirror. Inwardly, he still had some fear about seeing what his father inflicted on him, but he knew that at one point he'd have to face it. He breathed before walking up to the mirror to inspect the damage.

Oh.

It was worse than he thought.

Max dragged himself out of the bathroom slowly after shutting off the light and closing the door behind him, and continued throughout the hallway back to his room without thinking of anything.

Once he got back into bed, he tried to force his eyes shut, but he couldn't sleep for the life of him as the image of how gruesome the scar was lingered in the back of his mind. He wanted it to disappear. He wished last night never happened. He wished that he never happened, or that this was all just a sick, sick twisted dream that he'd wake up from any second. He hoped it was, and that once he fell asleep he'd wake up and he'd be with Neil under the darkness of the off-white used tent they'd sleep in every night back at camp. He'd sleep on a rusty old cot stained with unknown fluids and infested with bed bugs over a comfy bed any day if it meant he could spend time with the person that made his life worthwhile. He craved physical affection, so much that all he yearned for was to be hugged and protected and nothing else.

But, all of that physical affection would mean nothing to him if it wasn't from Neil.

He eyed his phone that was sitting on his bed across from him, charging. He lazily grabbed it and took it out of the plug, bringing it to his side and proceeding to send Neil a message, any message, something, though he doubt he was up this late at night. But, Max knew he was prone to sleeping problems, so him being up at this time wouldn't really be much of a surprise.

He didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he _could_ say.

_Will I ever be happy again?_

He deleted the sentence, and typed out something else.

_Will I ever be the same again?_

Right when he tapped those few words out onto his phone, his eyes started to burn, and his throat became sore as he tried to hold back his tears. He backspaced the entire message completely and in an angry fit, threw the phone across the room. It didn't make him feel any better, but he needed to get his frustration out somehow. He probably broke his phone, but Max didn't care. He just wanted to be alone. He wanted to be loved, but he also wanted to be alone. What sense did that make? Did Max's life ever make any sense? No. And will it ever? No. It wouldn't. He would just be stuck in this continuous cycle of wondering if anybody actually loved him and get his hopes up only to be hurt again and back to hating himself everyday that he was alive. Maybe that's why he haven't confessed to Neil yet, because he was scared he would try to hurt him? No, Neil would never hurt him, at least not intentionally.

How was he so sure, though?

They only knew each other for about 3 months and Max had already declared him the love of his life and everything he could have hoped for. Okay, maybe that was a little bit dramatic (The fact that Neil literally kissed him didn't help either), but everything in his life could be read like a play at this point. Forbidden love between two people that barely knew each other, blah blah blah, other crappy cliches that make a normal romantic play a romantic play. Wasn't that a tragedy, though, the forbidden love thing? Max didn't know. All the information he knew about plays was from Preston back at camp, and if there was anyone who over-exaggerated literally everything, it was him.

Ugh. Preston. Max didn't want to think about anything involving him right now.

Where was his mind even going off too? First, Neil, then tragedies, then whatever else? He definitely needed more rest. The boy laid back down in the bed, feeling more sleepy than he was before. His urge to cry was gone. That was good. Now all he had to do was sleep.

And he did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 3 months is a reasonable time for declaring someone the love of ur life idk what max is talking about
> 
> also I LITERALLY just NOW figured out how to do italics


	9. the thing happens

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neil and Nikki argue about words and stuff! Also Max and Neil talk about things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY FOR MAKING ALL OF YOU WAIT FOR 500 YEARS!!!!! I GOT LAZY IM SORRY!!!! Also this is the fourth most popular fanfiction with this particular ship right now. Like. How did that happen??  
> 

For the first time in a while, or perhaps, years, Neil was finally able to sleep at least slightly comfortably, which shocked the boy more than anything but was something he was overwhelmingly thankful for. Mostly for the fact that this meant he wouldn't be dozing off to sleep in class 24/7. Well, not that he usually would, he tried his best to stay awake during most lessons, but yesterday, it was so bad that he could barely get himself out of bed let alone stay awake period. He didn't know if the 'barely being able to get out of bed' thing was something to worry about in of itself, but he'd think about that later. Right now, he had the opportunity to be able to get up and actually function, and he planned to use this newfound energy to his full advantage.

After his bland morning routine and basically inhaling his entire breakfast, he walked out the front door accompanied by his gleeful yet awkwardly nervous mother and sooner enough, they were in the car, his mother ready to start the engine.  
"Sooo, Neil. I see your in a nice mood for once." His mother said, making him look up from his lap.  
Neil grinned a little at her comment. "Yeah, I could finally sleep for the first time in a while."  
"You had trouble sleeping?"  
"Yeah, for the past few days. It seems I'm getting back to normal though, or at least, I hope so." Neil answered as she started down the road. He looked out the window for a brief second to glance at their house before it slowly faded out of view.  
"How severe is it?" So he was going to have to explain it now. Great.  
"Well, sometimes, I go to bed at 9, but end up finally sleeping at some ridiculous hour like 12 or something. Other times, I just...don't sleep."  
"You just don't sleep? That's not good."  
"Yeah."  
His mother hummed in concern, and searched for something to say. "That sounds serious. I'll have to check with your doctor and see if there's any problems."  
The boy nodded in agreement, then turned to look out the window. 

Of cooourse. Of COURSE the only day so far of the school year (even though it's like the first week) when he finally had the chance to be able to think straight and actually pay attention in class was when his mind would wander and think about Max. It didn't help that the first few periods he had in the day were excruciatingly boring, to top it all off. He really, really tried his best to listen to the teachers give their lessons, but the very next second he'd find himself thinking about the cute boy who's smile could probably cure cancer and every other incurable disease that existed in the universe and who's laughter could establish world peace. This. This is what he needed. He loved his brain. He loved having a crush. He loved, loved, loved it. He loved being in love so much, yup, definitel-

...Wait, where did everyone go? Oh, the bell rung.

After a few more periods of productive listening time and not dozing off at all, Neil was finally released to go to lunch, and he made no hesitation in getting to the cafeteria. He hoped that if he ate something he'd be more able to focus, or something like that. He didn't know. 

Once he got his tray, he went to the table where him and Nikki usually sat, but when he got there, Nikki was nowhere to be found. Panic started to rise in his chest, and he got irrational thoughts about Nikki being dead and he not knowing, or about her possibly being sick, or the worse possible conclusion, the one that made Neil's jimmies really rustled...

Nikki finding a new group of friends.

It should go without saying that Neil was absolutely fine with Nikki finding her own people. Sort of. After all, based on their personalities, they'd probably be stereotyped to be in drastically different social groups, so it was cool if she found people that had the same interests and personality as her, right? Still, that'd be shitty of her to just up and leave him and not say anything. Who was Neil going to sit with now?

"Hey Neil!"  
"AH!" Neil practically fell out of his chair at the blue-haired demon who startled him out of nowhere. "Oops! Neil, are you okay?"  
Well. She didn't leave him. That was relieving. "Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," The boy placed himself back down into his chair, the girl cautiously going to sit next to him. "Pfft, that was so funny! You should've seen the look on your face! It's just me, geez!"  
"Gee, thanks."  
"Hey, you look better today!" Nikki grinned and poked Neil's cheek enthusiastically. "You don't look dead, is what I'm trying to say."  
"S'because I finally got some real sleep for the first time in a while." He said nonchalantly, lightly stabbing at his food with the cheap plastic forks the cafeteria provided them. It was quite telling when he didn't have an appetite for whatever hideous sludge this school served even when he was fully awake. "What, Max didn't keep you up all night this time?" He immediately snapped out of his thoughts about the horrific food in front of him when he heard Max's name, and it took a minute for Neil to figure out what Nikki said. "Pfft, as if he does anyways."  
"Yeah, tell me anything. So I'm assuming you remembered to do that homework we had to complete yesterday?"  
Shit. "Fuck, I forgot about that! Nikki, why didn't you tell me?"  
"Because I thought you did it!"  
"Ughhh. I'd try to rush through it, but I'll most likely not get it done. I don't even know what it's about."  
"No worries, Neil, you can copy mine!"  
"Oh, really?" The boy probably beamed the brightest smile ever in the universe while Nikki nodded excitedly and proceeded to dig through her backpack for the homework Neil forgot to do. Once Nikki finally found it, she yanked it out of her bag and slammed it onto the table, making Neil flinch at the sound. "There you go!" She slid the paper so it was in front of him, and Neil started to copy it down onto his shameful blank page of a worksheet at the speed of light. "You don't know how much of a savior you are, Nikki," Neil looked at her briefly, then turned back to copy down the rest. "Your welco-"

"Done!" Neil put his arms up in the air and cheered as if he was at a football game. Nikki didn't know if she should've been astonished or freaked out. "You got it done that quick?"  
"...Oh, yeah, I guess I did finish it rather fast. I mean, it is just copying, though."  
"What? Dude, it takes me like 6 minutes to copy something! That took you like 8 seconds! Probably why your handwriting looks so bad compared to mine."  
"Compared to yours? I can barely read your abominable excuse for handwriting!"  
"Oh, Neil, using big scientific words," Nikki giggled. "How daunting."  
Neil rolled his eyes. "That's not a scientific word," he said. "And isn't daunting a big word also?"  
"Wait, abominable isn't a scientific word? Didn't our teacher say that in science class?"  
"Just because the science teacher says it doesn't mean it's scientific!" Neil raised his voice. "Then what was the point of him saying that?"  
"Do you even know what the word means?"  
"...No?"

Neil didn't have the energy to be mad at Nikki, so he smiled instead. 

...

Right when he got home, he sped upstairs to his bedroom, the first thing is his mind being to text his crush that he was home. When he opened the door to his bedroom, he practically jumped and almost broke his neck trying to land on the bed. He didn't care, and whipped out his phone at lightning speed to text Max that he was home.

After receiving no reply .30 milliseconds after he sent it, Neil grew anxious and just was preparing to send him about 500 more messages until he remembered what Max said to him yesterday about texting too much. He reluctantly put his phone down and waited for a while, but he still didn't receive an answer after all this time which made concern sprout up from within him. He knew how bad his anxiety could get when he'd start assuming things, so he knew it was best for him to relax and do something else to take his mind off of his phone.

To sum it up, that didn't work.

Neil looked at his phone drowsily as his eyes grew more heavier. When he saw no notification from Max, he knew that his assumption that something was wrong was confirmed to be true, as by this time he would've at least said that he was busy or something.

'Max? I know you said not to text you repeatedly if you don't respond right away, but...are you okay? Just wanted to make sure, because this isn't like you.'

He surprisingly received a reply in mere seconds. 'I'm fine. Just been sick all day.'

'Oh, so you stayed home?'

'Yeah.' Max texted back. No snide remark because he stated the obvious? Something was definitely wrong here.

'Max, are you sure your just sick?'

'Yeah.'

'So, nothing else is wrong.'

'Don't worry about me, Neil. We have these same back and forth convos like at least 50 times a week at this point. I'm alright.'

'It's only been 1 week though.'

'I know. I'm not fucking stupid. I'm using hyperbole. Do you know what hyperbole is? It's that. That's what I'm doing. Using HYPERBOLE!'

'Max, are you sure your okay?'

'Oh my God. Yes, I said so! How many times do I have to tell you!?'

'If you were okay, you wouldn't be so defensive about it.'

'Ugggh, Neil, I'm not in the mood to argue. Just stop it or stop texting me altogether, and you can find someone else to annoy.'

His heart sunk when he read those words. 

'Max...you didn't mean to say that, did you?'

'...No. I'm sorry. Something did happen that I'm upset about.'

'Is it something family-wise?'

'...Yeah.'

Neil frowned. Back at camp, Max did make a few comments about his family, but he didn't like to talk about them much as he said that they were assholes and that they barely cared about him, so Neil never brought them up. He hoped that it was just a case of a verbal fight between his parents or something, but the way that Max had been acting may of suggested that it was something much more than that.

'Do you need me to call you?'

Max responded 'yes' eerily quicker than his previous responses, and Neil paid mind to this as he started to call him. 

When Max finally picked up, Neil said hey, but the only thing that greeted him on the other line was silence. This was...strange. Neil was wondering whether it was a problem with either his or Max's phone.

But then, he heard something he never wanted to hear in his life.

There was sniffling coming from the other end, and the boy sounded distraught and angry, even more than he usually was. His words came out in stutters and quiet whispers, and Neil couldn't in any possible way pinpoint what he was trying to say. Even if he could understand, what could he say back? His heart was starting to race, and the last thing he wanted was to go into an anxiety attack, because he'd barely be able to speak himself, so he tried to stay calm. 

"I-I've...I've been crying the whole day. He doesn't care, he hasn't checked on me once-"

"Max, why are you crying? Tell me what's wrong." Neil's voice was firm but gentle, though he was starting to grow even more nervous.

"N-Neil, it was so c-cold, I can still feel the blood running down my face, it was terrible, it's--"

"Blood? Max? Are you bleeding? Do you need help?"

"I was so alone, I wanted you there, All I could think about was you, Neil--"

"Max, listen to me, slow down. Are you okay right now? Do you need help at the moment?"

"I'm not bleeding anymore."

"Why were you bleeding? Did someone hurt you?"

"H-He hit me." 

"Who is 'he'?"

Max only answered in loud sobs, barely being able to speak between his sniffling and rapid breathing. Neil's eyes widened at his response. The only thing he could assume was that his father must've been the one who hurt him. 

"Can you tell me when exactly this happened?"

"Yesterday. I was in my room...and, he came in...and he was drunk, and he--..."

"What did he do?" Neil asked, though he was afraid of what his answer would be.

"I-I didn't know what happened, but he picked me up by the collar of my jacket and it hurt...he always got violent whenever he would drink, so that's why I locked the door to my room, but he still managed to get in. I was mad at him, because he hit my mother."

"He...did?"

"I was so angry that I just lashed out at him. I tried to fight back when he threw me on the ground, but I'm too little...I screamed at him. Insulted him. And then," Max breathed, "He striked me across the face with a broken beer bottle, I think...and then I passed out."

Neil was silent.

"Neil? Are you there?"

"Yeah, yeah, I am. Keep going."

"I think...he took me to the hospital. I believe so. I remember a hundred eyes being on me all at once, and I could still feel blood running down my cheeks. Then I saw someone with scissors and something else try to come close to me, and I tried retaliating, but I went to sleep instead. When I woke up, my mom was there, and we went home."

"Does your mother know what he did?"

"No. She doesn't. He lied about it. He said it was an accident."

If there was ever a feeling that was stronger than anger, that's what Neil felt at that exact moment. Never before had he felt so...enraged. He wanted to yell. He wanted to scream, but he knew he couldn't take his frustration out on him. He wouldn't dare. But he was going to make sure it was known.

"Max, this is extremely upsetting to hear, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. You need to tell your mom and the school counselor that this happened."

"I don't want too."

"I can't risk anything else happening to you."

The shorter boy paused. "How am I going to explain it to anybody without suddenly breaking down into tears and sounding stupid?"

"If you can't verbally say it, then write it down and give it to the counselor. They can-"

"And what if my dad denies what happened? What if he scares my mom into staying quiet? What if I get taken away from my home and placed somewhere else? Will I ever see my mother again? Will I ever see you again or be able to talk to you again? What if I'm placed in a home that is worse than the one I'm already in?!"

"Max, I know that it's difficult, but you can't think of all the 'what if's'. What matters is that your in a safe environment. Not me, not what your parents think, it's you-"

"Your all that matters to me, you dipshit! I couldn't care less that I'd be able to get help if it means I lose touch with you forever!"

"...Max," Neil started, but Max politely shushed him. "Shut up. I...I'll see tomorrow if I can talk to the guidance counselor or something. I'm...gonna go. Goodbye."

"Wait, Max!"

"What?"

"I...your going to be okay, alright? I...can't promise that you won't be hurt anymore, nor that you'll be safe in the near future either, but...if wishing and praying is what it takes to at least make it less possible...I'll do it everyday if I have to," Neil's voice was shaky. "I'll do anything..."

"...Thank you."

Neil didn't bring the phone down from his ear once Max hung up. He just sat there for a few minutes, processing everything that just happened. He didn't know what to feel. He didn't know what to do, or what was going to happen next. He just know that he was scared, and that his heart was beating so fast that it was about to pop out of his chest, but not just because he was afraid for his safety.

He was all that mattered to him.


End file.
